No Golden Buzzer this time

MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES have disgraced themselves with the release of a music video.

150 employees of the Redmond tech behemoth have been practising in their spare time for no money to create ‘Microsoft: The Musical’, another 10-minute burst of why tech firms getting their companies to perform is always a bad move. As a lot of these guys were the 2019 intake of interns, they still clearly have a lot to learn.

Using the tune to “Volunteer Fireman’s Picnic” from the musical Take Me Along (or something very much like it), and under the theme of “it’s all happening here” (borked updates? shutting down Windows 7 from under people? signing deals to deliver Hololens to the military?) the enthusiastic cringe-collective sing and dance their way through lots of words that rhyme in an order that makes for a… ahem…. quirky spin through the company’s activities past and present.

And you know what? It’s not half bad.

More like three-quarters bad. Maybe two thirds.

After singing the praises of Bill Gates like he’s the messiah, the one saving grace of this gaggle of brainwashed yoof is that it acknowledges Microsoft’s less successful outings as well.

“We missed a beat with Vista,” it says; no mention of Windows 8.0, mind.

“All our products are well known, except when we tried to make a phone” it goes on

Yeah, that’s fair enough. The Zune wasn’t a great success either mind, though most of these young whippersnappers probably don’t even remember that.

Look, we’re not going to be too damning, because even though we’d rather squeeze fresh lemon juice into our eyes than see it again, the effort and talent is undeniable and the hard work is obvious.

A word of warning though. Many companies have been down this road and the vast majority have failed dismally. All we can say is, beware the legacy of the HTC rap battle. μ

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